The Tiny Adventures of Arty Fowl
by Lpgd72
Summary: Ok, this is a crazy story about my idea of what Artemis was like in his younger years. It's funny and pretty stupid but I think you'll like it. Write me reviews if you want more Arty also tell me if the humor isn't very good but it's crazy. ok so ArtyArte
1. Chapter 1

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_**The Tiny Adventures of Arty Fowl**_

_**1 **_

Once upon a time, a little tiny boy named Arty said, "I'm gonna be a criminal!"

So he went off with his best friend/bodyguard Butli to go seek out and perform crimes.

Their first stop was South Station Boston or "Boostoon", as Arty and Butli called it.

In Boston they went to Bob's company's building (dun dun dunnnn!)

Butli said to Arty "Why's we's here's Arty?"

"Duh, cause it's got cool windows," Said Arty.

"Okays so's what's the plan then?" said Butli.

"Well first we have to get past the security clearance, piece of cake, than we got to get to the fifth floor because that's where the blind man's office is. Once there we will cut out 4 windows; 2 oval and 2 rectangular ones. Finally we will each jump out of one of the windows we cut and land in the ocean while carrying the 4 windows we cut."

"That sounds stupid" said Butli

"Shut up," said Arty. They walked up to the front door and they said to the guard, "Hi, can we come in?" The guard said, "No."

Arty said " how come ?"

The guard said " well A. your like 6, B. you don't work here, and C. I don't like your friend."

Arty said "fine!"

Then Arty nodded at Butli and Butli nodded back. Than they both piddled on the guard grabbed his security card and dashed inside. The Guard was completely disoriented because, what are the odds that two 6 year olds just peed on him? And also his Butt was killing him

Arty said to Butli "whew that was close" "I wonder why that worked" said Butli. "Well" said Arty "The pee was just a distraction, while you were taking a piddle I was putting disorientation pills up his rectum" "eww" said Butli. "Yes well you gotta do what u gotta do" said Arty."now we have to get to the 5th floor" said Arty.

So the both started to sneak around the building until they found the elevator. Once they found the elevator, Arty pressed the up button, and the elevator door opened. Unfortunatly for Arty there were 2 guys and a gal in the elevator.

Butli said to Arty "so umm what now" Arty said "do nothing I'll handle this." So What Arty did was he took out his handy dandy spoon and his pocket sized m16 and he told the people that they could either leave, or get shot and get their eyes gouged out. Than Arty threw butli the m16. The grownups laughed they thought the m16 was fake (which it wasn't). Arty and Butli started to laugh too and than Butli shot all 3 of them in the legs and than Arty gouged all of their eyes out and shoved disorientation pills up their rectums. Then Butli and Arty dragged the 2 guys and the gal out of the elevator and they took the elevator to the fifth floor.

Once on the fifth floor Arty and Butli snuck over to the blind man's stand And began to cut out the four windows silently. once they had all of the windows cut out they finaly got caught by two guys but it was too late Butli and Arty were already diving into the bay. Where the 2 kids and their windows snuck onto a cruise boat destined for greece.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Once on the boat Butli and Arty decided they would need a place to sleep so they decided to hold up one of the cheaper cabins (rooms on a boat). At first they were trying to sneak around but they soon realized that no one would have heard about the murders or the robbery. Plus there were about 2 thousand people on the boat, so it would be easy to hide once the people found out about the crimes.

Arty and Butli found the main stair case where they went to the bottom floor and went all the way down the hallway to the most femote room they could find. Once there Arty asked Butli "Do you still have the M16?" "Let me check" said Butli. "Damn I dropped it during that 50 ft dive" Said Butli! "Great" said Arty " now we have to use knives, o well (_sigh)."_ "How many u got Butli?" Said Arty. Two 12 In. switch blades and 10 throwing knives. "ok" said Arty "Give me the switch blades because we both know u have a gift with thrown knives, ok on the count of three you will kick down the door, 1...2...3...!" Butli kicked down the door and inside there were just 1 middle aged man. Butli said "do we kill him?"

Arty said "absolutely" So Butli threw 4 knives right at the mans face and Arty stabbed the man about 10 times in the chest. Then the 2 of them threw the man out the window.

Ok Butli said Arty first things first clean up all of this blood...


	3. Chapter 3

The 2 miscreatants had been on the cruise for 1 hour and they had just finished cleaning when there was a knock!

"Butli get the knives" Butli said

"Arty get the mop"

Then suddenly the door swung open. Immediately Butli threw the knives, and Arty threw the mop. The knives missed entirely but the mop hit the person in the eye and kept going till it was lodged in his brain.

"Crap that was one heck of a throw" said Butli.

"You're telling me" said Arty

The man's name tag read commander root of the LEP.

"What's the LEP" said Butli

"Duh" said Arty

"Duh what" said Butli

"umm uhh lunch… eating… ummm people"

"ohhhhhh of course" said Butli "it's soooooo obvious

Then the body disappeared

"What what what" happened said Butli

"No idea" said Arty "but lets get moving we're on a fabulous cruise to Greece!"


	4. Chapter 4

They had been on the cruise for 2 days posing as waiters, it had been very hard since they were only 3' 8".

"How much longa must we do dis arty"

"Just until we reach Greece" said Arty

"Well I'm stopping now!"

"OK dis stinks any ways" said Arty

So our 2 little miscreants decided to come up with a plan to make this cruise a little more exciting … (if you catch my drift).

So the 2 boys went into their cabin and devised a plan about how they should go about taking over the ship

"I think we should kindly ask them all to let us take over" Said Butli

"What are you a pansy"

"Nah I was just kidding lets kill em all"

So the 2 boys went into the boiler room and the laid a timed bomb to go off in 5 hours. So in the meantime the 2 boys started turning their cabin into a bomb shelter by piddling on the walls, and then laying cement over the piddle.

"you think we will be safe Arty?"

"Of course we will." Said Arty "I designed it"

After 3 hours of piddling and laying cement the 2 boys went to sleep.

"Arty it smells like piddle."

"Suck it up Butli!"

After 2 hours of sleep the 2 boys woke up to huge bang.

"What what what was that" said Butli.

"Duh it was the bomb! Lets go check out the damage" said Arty……


End file.
